Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Have you ever given your patient/toddler a bedpan/potty only to have them have a bowel movement (with or without the benefit of Bowel Buddies or Flavourful Fibre) and then be faced with the task of rinsing and rinsing and gagging and rinsing and spraying-risking-getting-poopy-backsplash-on-your-uniform followed by more gagging??????? My indispensable tip for you is, TOILET PAPER IN THE BEDPAN/POTTY!!!!! Before giving said patient/toddler the bedpan/potty, line the bottom with a generous layer of toilet paper. Then when the patient/toddler lays one down for you, it just easily slides out into the toilet. Only the minimal of rinsing needed. VOILA!!!!
There, that post should garner me some much needed comments. Poop posts seem to be the "bomb" when it comes to comments.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
When I was a kid, Sunday mornings were often spent with my dad. We would have gone to church on Saturday evening and Sunday morning we would make breakfast. He would have a beer while he cooked bacon and eggs. We would then sit at the table, just the two of us, eating breakfast and talking. I drank coffee, even when I was very young, a French Canadian thing I suppose. We would talk. Sometimes we would listen to the radio. Sunday mornings the radio guy would read the Saturday Funnies over the radio. Then after breakfast we would go to the living room and maybe watch TV or just sit and read. I miss the quiet laziness of those mornings. Now my Sundays are filled with noise, kids, pets.......I have to say, I love that too......
Friday, February 23, 2007
I was chatting away nicely with one person......enjoying my chat. When another chatter pops in. I try to have polite chat with that person, but my mind is clearly not in it. Both of these people know each other. I get a message from the first person, kinda irritated me....I open window to second person to make an offhand sarcastic remark about first person.......unknown to me, first person had sent another message........my offhand sarcastic remark typed into the message box of first person and sent to them. Geezus H Christ.........now I have completely insulted the person I was talking to......not good. Not intentional. Just being my sarcastic pain in the ass self.
A few rules to follow when instant messaging:
1) Never make a comment about a person you are actually talking to, to another person
2) Check the window you are typing in before hitting send
3) Never say anything about anyone that you wouldn't say to their face
4) Never leave a bowl of water boiling in the microwave then have a chatting crisis.... you will lose a friend and melt your microwave at the same time.....and trust me, both stinks.........
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
I worked two night shifts this week. I woke up at 5:45 Monday morning and did not go back to bed until after 9:am Tuesday morning, where I fell promptly asleep until around 1:30pm when my kids started fighting in the hallway outside my room. It was early out from school that day. I never did get back to sleep, got ready and went to work, but not before letting my overtired bitchy self tick off NewMan and cause some completely unnecessary stress to both of us. *** I came home this morning and ended up spending the morning trying to do some damage control, which never did happen, and make NewMan understand my point of view. Before I knew it, it was time to take my oldest son to the city nearest us for his dental appointment. I had not slept a wink. Thank god he is driving.
We had lunch, got myself some high octane Timmy's Coffee and got the boy to the dentist and me to the nail salon. After our respective appointments were over, we headed to Walmart to pick up the few things I was needing. Then to the Pizza Place to pick up dinner before coming home. The guy at the pizza place was a total knob. I had sent the boy in to get the pizza and had given him my bank card. Said bank card was not working so JACKASS PIZZA PUD puts a strip of scotch tape over the magnetic strip!!!!!!!! I have not seen anyone lame enough to have pulled that stupid stunt in several years, and of course, SonOne did not know to tell this DickWad not to do it. Of course, it doesn't actually help the card work. So, we have to hit the bank, and I am praying that the card still works in the bank machine so I can get enough money to buy the pizza for dinner. It does, we are back in business. We get home, people are fed, watered, bathed, bedded and now I can actually have some time to blog. Of course, I gave up some blogging time this evening to spend time with NewMan online. Now it is 11:36pm, I have had about 4 hours of sleep in the last 66 hours, I have not written any lame Poetry but instead have decided to have a derailed train of thought.
Edited to add ***
I knew my train derailed, I never finished this post and now I have caused some confusion and dismay with the Real People in my life. Crap......
Damage control: not NewMan that was causing damage, not him I was trying to control. It was my own damage, and it is still not resolved. NewMan, on the other hand, completely 100% wonderful, helped me WITH the damage control best he could, was supportive and loving, even though I was being bitchy, tired and stupid. God, I love this man!!!!! Oh and just in case you all are wondering, I give up blogging time to spend time with NewMan quite voluntarily. I mean, I love my blog, but is it going to change my poopy Depends when I am old and senile??? I think not!!!!
BestFriend, I love you to death!!! You are like a mother lion when it comes to me, how many people can say that about their friends??? But please, don't eat my MATE!!! *LOL*
Top Ten Reasons I am a Nurse
10. I love working all major holidays and through the summers too
9. I have an arsenal of sedating medications that I am at liberty to use
8. The smell of sweat, blood and booze on a warm summer night in the ER
7. Watching a big muscle bound man faint at the sight of a needle
6. Getting to see the many varied places a person will pierce their bodies
5. The warm sensation of fresh vomit on your duty shoes
4. Lunch breaks that consist of a swallow of cold coffee and a Tic Tac
3. The all night Potty Parade
2. The soothing sound of call bells that rings in your head for 10 hours after your shift is done
AND NUMBER 1!!!!
The disorientation that comes with working night shift is vaguely reminicent of a good drunk!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
I turned 40 last August and my doctor felt that I should go for my baseline now. I know I am not the first woman in the world to do this. But....it was MY first time, and that was really an eye opener, to say the least.
I get to the place, and everyone is just way too perky and upbeat.....do they not know what they are about to do to me????? I have read Ode to the Mammogram and was very aware of what to expect.
First thing they took me into a change room and told me to strip from the waist up. The woman who took me in there was wearing her winter coat!!! I shit you not!! She hands me this tissue paper shirt to change into while I am waiting. HOLY NIPPLES BATMAN!! I about froze to death. I could actually feel my Double D Puppies shrivel right down to a generous C. Then they put on this video to show me how to do the Breast Self Exam every month. Now I know that it is important, and that every woman should be doing it.....but frankly, I just never remember to do it. Think I will have to borrow the video for NewMan to watch and learn....that way I can be assured of it getting done.
So after the video she takes me into a small little room with a big scary machine there. She gets me to stand there in front of the machine while she pulls and twists my precious Left Puppy trying to get it all flattened out in this clear plastic vice. She then starts to squeeze together the plates of the vice and tells me to let her know if I start to get uncomfortable! WTF????? I was uncomfortable on the drive into town to have this done!!!!! She takes the two flattened out pictures of each of the puppies, and then tells me, "We need the side view now" I did NOT expect that. So there are my favourite girls, being squished and flattened in the other direction. For the love of all things sacred, my babies will never be the same again! She then asks me to go back to my change room, but don't get dressed, since the radiologist may need more views.....I am guessing the radiologist is a man and had never had this done.
I sit in the change room in my tissue paper shirt, praying to the Goddess of Breasts to please not make me have to have any more torture. About 40 minutes later, I am told that I can get dressed and am free to go. As I am walking out past the reception desk, the receptionist stops me and hands me a pink carnation. The card reads, "We are pleased to encourage ladies to care about their health. Accept this flower, with our compliments, to enhance the rest of your day." I almost burst out laughing. All I could think of was that the last person I let touch my breasts like that at least bought me dinner!!!!! And he didn't take pictures either.....
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
So I have to look forward to next year when I can pamper and spoil my Prince on Valentine's Day......which comes only a few days after his birthday.......so, I guess it will always be a week long celebration.
I know that he intends to spoil me too. He is really a romantic at heart. He is just such a gentleman. Holding doors open, opening car doors. Even ordering for me when we go out to dinner. Now, before all the feminists jump all over that, let me explain. I actually LIKE when a man does that for me. It shows that he knows me and my likes and dislikes. We would discuss the menu before hand, he asked what I would like......then when the waiter came over, he would order for me. I think it is sweet, romantic and sexy. It did throw some of the waiters off a bit, but oh well. I believe in chivalry and plan to allow him to keep the tradition alive.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Yesterday morning in my house.....
Tuc: "Mommy, I want a treat"
Me: "Not before breakfast"
Tuc: "I need a treat"
Me: "Tuc, not before breakfast"
Tuc: "Mommy.....I WANT A TREAT!!!"
After feeding them all breakfast and taking the 3 older children to school, we come in the door.
Tuc: "Mommy, can I have a treat now????"
Me: "Please give mommy 3 minutes to get her act together first."
Fifteen minutes elapse
Tuc: "MOMMY, I WANT A TREAT!!!"
Me: "Why do you want a treat???"
Tuc: "I have no wife and no family, that is 'cause I need a treat."
Honestly, there was nothing I could say to that, I gave the poor kid a granola bar
Sunday, February 11, 2007
NewMan is actually a past relationship. We met a long time ago. We were friends for a few years before I was divorced the first time. We started dating about a year after my divorce. I was instantly in love.
Sadly things didn't work out then. We broke up about 6 years ago. My life then took some major curves and I ended up moving, and essentially losing touch with this phenomenal man. Both of us went on to live our lives out. Both meeting other people. Both embarking on relationships, having new babies, etc. Ironically, both our lives seemed to have fallen apart at the same time. Thanks to a mutual friend, we found each other again.
We have faced some trials since we have come back to one another. But, it has all been worth every bit of it. We know there are many more trials to face, but we intend to meet those head on and face them together.
I am not sure how many of you believe in soul mates, in destiny, in fate. I definitely do. If I didn't, I never would have taken this opportunity at a second chance the way I have. I know there are a great many people who have opinions about me, about us, about how I have chosen to live my life. To those people, I say, "F-you". When I stepped off that plane and saw this man whom I have not seen face to face for 6 years, and felt like I was finally where I was supposed to be, I knew I had made the right choice for me and for my family. I was completely and utterly in love........and I realized I had never really stopped loving that man.
As for what we are like together.....it is like every fairy tale you can think of. He is my Prince.....he is charming, not only with me but with everyone he meets. He is gallant, loyal, romantic and amazing. I am his princess. He treats me with the utmost of respect and care, putting me and my wants, desires and needs above all else (like my need for a strong cup of coffee first thing in the morning even though he never drinks the stuff himself). He seems to be able to anticipate my likes (except for that of heart shaped jewelry) and is conscientious to my insecurities. He has taught me to love myself with the utmost of uncondtion, the way that he loves me. This is really something I have never experienced before I met him, and never have again.
Stay tuned for more...............
Friday, February 09, 2007
I read so many amazing blogs where the authors write such witty, funny or moving posts every day. I just don't know how they do it. I envy them so, and I try so hard to emulate that. I have failed so miserably lately...
I suppose it is because the one thing that is most forefront in my thoughts all the time is my new/old relationship and just how incredibly happy and giddy I am about that. I could so easily just sit here and write and gush about how wonderful he is, how sexy he is, how.....um......good he is........but I don't want you all to be jealous.
I haven't even had any good kid stories lately. I could rant about work, but that gets old really fast. I am just at a loss.
I guess all I can say is, please keep coming back to read, I am really hoping I get my groove back soon.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
I was reflecting on this with the New Man saying, "It was just like when ExHusband and I were married." "Oh? How so?" "Well" I said, "we pass each other in the hall and ignore each other"
For some reason, my mom still dotes on my ex-husband. She treats him as though he is still part of the family. She expects ME to do the same. Forgive me if I do not feel the need to cook, clean, and wash clothes for the man who walked out on me on New Year's Day when our daughter was 1 WEEK old.....yes, I said 1 WEEK. Now, he and I have come a long way. I can now be in the same room with him without wanting to gouge out his eyes with rusty spoons. I have come past the overwhelming desire to have the man's testicles bronzed......then cut off.....for me to display proudly on my piano. We are amicable, for the sake of the children. I even asked my mother if she realized that he and I were divorced and that he is sleeping with someone else now. Her answer???? "He is the father of the children"......yes he is......but wait....he is only the father of 3 children. My Tuc has a different father. So I challenged her again. "What about ExHusbandPartTwo?"......she had no answer. You see, in her eyes, no one ever measured up to ExHusband. I am not sure why. Now, granted, I am thankful and happy that he came and installed my new laminate floor free of charge. But I think we are even, what with me caring for his spawn all these years.
New Man and I have talked at length about the roles of parents, the roles of ex's, the roles of family, and what the vows of marriage mean. We have some pretty distinct ideas.....luckily for us, our views are similar and I think we are going to be just fine.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
I had an amazing time. It was really like no time had ever passed since we had been together the last time, which was about 6 years ago. When I saw him walking towards me at the baggage claim on Tuesday night, my knees went weak! I haven't felt like that for a very, very long time. I felt like a teenager! *LOL*
We spent long hours talking. Having real conversations. Intelligent conversations about things that matter to us. Just like we used to have long ago. We spent time just getting reacquainted with one another. Remembering things from the past, reflecting on the things that went wrong last time and how we can use those past mistakes and learn and grow from them.
There was an ease to the time we were together. An ease that wasn't always there the last time. It was just good. Very good. Amazing.
I am incredibly happy..........