Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Love and Marriage

So, I told you a few days ago that my mother was able to convince my ex-husband (we have been divorced 8 years) to come and finish up the laminate flooring project on my house that he started with my 15yr old son last fall. Even after 8 years, he must still be scared of her, because he did show up, he finished it up and now he is gone.

I was reflecting on this with the New Man saying, "It was just like when ExHusband and I were married." "Oh? How so?" "Well" I said, "we pass each other in the hall and ignore each other"

For some reason, my mom still dotes on my ex-husband. She treats him as though he is still part of the family. She expects ME to do the same. Forgive me if I do not feel the need to cook, clean, and wash clothes for the man who walked out on me on New Year's Day when our daughter was 1 WEEK old.....yes, I said 1 WEEK. Now, he and I have come a long way. I can now be in the same room with him without wanting to gouge out his eyes with rusty spoons. I have come past the overwhelming desire to have the man's testicles bronzed......then cut off.....for me to display proudly on my piano. We are amicable, for the sake of the children. I even asked my mother if she realized that he and I were divorced and that he is sleeping with someone else now. Her answer???? "He is the father of the children"......yes he is......but wait....he is only the father of 3 children. My Tuc has a different father. So I challenged her again. "What about ExHusbandPartTwo?"......she had no answer. You see, in her eyes, no one ever measured up to ExHusband. I am not sure why. Now, granted, I am thankful and happy that he came and installed my new laminate floor free of charge. But I think we are even, what with me caring for his spawn all these years.

New Man and I have talked at length about the roles of parents, the roles of ex's, the roles of family, and what the vows of marriage mean. We have some pretty distinct ideas.....luckily for us, our views are similar and I think we are going to be just fine.


Anonymous said...

New Man!? That's some title



Frannie Farmer said...

Isn't it funny that some mothers can't let go of those who treated us poorly ... or be happy with those who treat us well??

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