Parenting is Hard

I have never professed myself to be the perfect parent...hell, I have never even professed myself to be a good parent. At best, I am the accidental parent. Not to take away from the beautiful miracle of becoming a mother.... but when it happened to me, I hadn't exactly planned it. I love my children to the death, I would give my life for them (at times, I feel that I already have).

I was only married 5 short months, was in the middle of my first year of Nursing school, when I got pregnant with my first son. I remember being scared, annoyed, P.O.ed at myself. How did this happen to me? But happen it did. I am now the proud mother of a 6' tall, 220lb, blue eyed 16yr old boy with beautiful auburn hair, which he has recently cut into a mohawk. UGH! But, I pick my battles, right?

My other children also present their own challenges. My 12yr old boy struggles with depression, and ADD. My daughter struggles with CDS & OGS....Chronic Diva Syndrome and Only Girl Syndrome. She has somehow developed this attitude that she can do or say whatever she likes and should never have to pay a consequence.

The 4yr old....now he is really a piece of work. I know I have caused this problem with him. He is the baby. I have always catered to him. I have always felt such tremendous guilt about the kids having only one parent that I have over compensated. I have spoiled all my children, but the little one is the worst. And now, I am having to do damage control. I am having to retrain him to not always getting what he wants.

I am having to retrain all of my children. I have created a collective monster of unaappreciation that is wearing very very thin with myself and most others that have to deal with them. Teaching old dogs new tricks is never an easy task. And I am quickly realizing I am not a dog trainer.