DON'T EAT THE CRAYON! and other things you thought you'd never say

Remember back to a time before you had children of your own. You would watch parents of youngsters and think to yourself, "MY kids will never be so undisciplined". When you were a teenager yourself, you laughed at your parents for being so silly and worrying so much. Now, you have entered parenthood yourself.............

I find myself saying things that would never have entered my vocabulary before. "What do you mean the cat accidentally got into the dryer and you accidentally turned it on?" "No, Fruit Loops are not a food group" "Is this sofa REALLY stain proof?" "Stop mashing your potatoes with your knuckles!" (this gem was uttered at Christmas dinner)

My son, soon to be 14 years old, is constantly pushing the envelope. God love him though, he is a really good boy. But........"No, you can't have a beer while watching the movie" "No, you can't drive downtown just this once. Why? Because you are 13!" "No, you can't get your tongue pierced!" I know that he knows the answer to these questions is going to be no......but I suppose it is the job of the teenager to test the waters and ask the questions, all while giving you that silly half grin, waiting to see if smoke really will come out of your ears. The other children just observe, taking it all in.....learning what questions to ask and when......and thinking up new, even more ridiculous things to ask.

But then comes the toddler. The things you will say to a toddler sound like rantings of a mad man, at best. "I told you if you lick the cat you would get fur in your mouth. Fur doesn't taste good, does it?" "Cheezies are not meant to go up your nose" "Shut the fridge door. Shut the fridge door. Shut the fridge door. SHUT the fridge door. SHUT the FRIDGE DOOR! SHUT THE FRIDGE DOOR!!!"

Aw the life of a parent. Not at all glamorous.......but definitely colorful. Especially when the toddler has been eating his crayons!