I am New Man!

While Iris is facing a crisis of family she has given me the distinct honor of being a guest blogger for her. Thinking long and hard of what subject I could post while she is away (she will actually be back tonight from picking up her kiddos) I thought heck...there is only 1 post I could make...

I am New Man!

Yes, I am the legendary New Man...who is the old man...yet...New Man lol. I have had the pleasure of knowing Iris for 10 years and about 8-9 years ago we met got close and fell in love, deeply in love. There were some issues and we went our separate ways. Through our long conversations and time that we've spent getting back to know each other again over the past 15 months we've both admitted that our thoughts drifted back and forth to one another over the years and for me even as far as asking mutual friends about her all time. Life hasn't been without its hiccups over 7 years (3 Children and 2 Marriages teaches a person or in this case 2 people quite a bit) but its amazing what one learns when you are in a place that breeds unhappiness and misery. Finding each other again at the time when we have has been awesome. Drawing upon a deep friendship that has lasted so long and realizing a love has been there but untouched and buried under 7 years of...stuff. It is refreshing. If there is one thing I have learned that when you have been at the bottom, you cherish that which you have lost and rarely does one get a second chance at something so wonderful. I am lucky.


That isn't to say that life is greener on the other side. The process of getting together is just that a process. It is a battle that we are looking at fighting and enduring for at least 2 years. Life changes are massive and they are coming. Those who would think there is an air of naïvité here don't be fooled. Love doesn't conquer all. That IS a myth. Love doesn't conquer all it is not a carte blanche giving people the ability to do as they wish or not be prepared for the worse, or worse yet, not put 100% effort into things. Honesty, trust, understanding and patience are what make love work. I've learned that in the past 5 years that loving a person has to work hand in hand with all listed above. If you can't do that, if you don't see yourself doing that. You will never be happy. To love someone is to not love them, but love their faults and crimes and failures only then will you love someone truly enough to love them forever.


I'm a lucky New Man, who intends on eventually graduating to New Husband. Seeing life as a challenge to be taken 1 day at a time and enjoying every second of it. And together as she knows I eat way too unhealthy (which her nurse side has already threatened to curb), that I have this habit of drooling (I know...ICK)and that yes...I DO leave the toilet seat up (yes women, we all do it...sorry) we will find happiness not only in love...but in honesty, trust, patience and understanding.

I am New Man. Bonjour!

I am not ready to say goodbye

Dear Auntie Dot,

There are so many things I want to say to you. Things I have said before, maybe some I have never said. All things I hope you will always know.

I love you. Not just because you are my mother's sister, but because you are you. My childhood memories of you are so vivid. Your wonderful sense of humour, your hearty robust laugh, that smile that just beams! The amazing strength you have demonstrated in your life, through all of the things you have endured, it is an inspiration to me, and will always live in me. Your compassion and understanding when I talked to you of my own difficulties, it meant so much to me. I am not sure I can ever really explain it, but know, it really helped me.

I know you have said you don't want us to be sad. But, I cannot help it. I am sad for me, though, not for you. If I had been able to change things, of course I would have cured you of your cancer and kept you here forever. But since I cannot, I have to let you go, and take comfort in the thoughts of you seeing Grandma, Uncle Mike, Uncle Bill, Leia and my Dad again. How wonderful that reunion will be! So even though I am and will continue to shed tears, know they are for the pain you are feeling now, and my own pain of missing you.

I will always hold that memory of seeing you at mom's for her birthday. I can still feel that strong, long hug. Just holding on and hugging for long minutes. So much happiness and all emotions rolled into one. How happy I am to have the memory to hold onto. Thank you so much. Thank you for all of the memories, stories, and strength. Thank you for coming back to us. Thank you for everything, Auntie Dot. And even though I am far from ready, and probably never would be..... I must say these words........

Goodbye........

Until the day we meet again....

Love Iris

Blogging Hiatus Hernia

Here I am, popping out in the middle of my summer blogging hiatus. I was away for a few days visiting my mom and my youngest, Tuc. I had to leave him with my mom still for a couple more weeks until my summer vacation starts and I can head out to the cabin.

I also seem to have messed up my wireless connection on this laptop. I had taken the laptop to mom's and was getting online there, but now, my home network is not working properly....

I apologize for the posting here being sporadic and rather boring....I hope to get better soon.

I have become childless.....

and that has taken away a lot of my inspiration for my writing. No Tuc coming in and saying something so profound or funny ..... No teenager angst to talk about.... no drama queen diva trauma to talk about.....no nothing to write about.

I could talk about work....but I have to be careful there too, as there is FOIP hovering about like Orwell's Big Brother....preventing me from talking about the people I encounter, no matter how anonymous I try to make the post.

I can blog about NewMan, but frankly, I only can talk about the heartache of being apart from him still....and wanting to have him here with me finally.

But back to being childless. I am not the "empty nester" kind of parent. I do not cease to exist just because my offspring are not physically with me. I try to enjoy the quiet and solitude. Yesterday I went shopping.....I bought a package with one steak in it....one carton of milk.....one container of yogurt......that is just so foreign to me. With four kids, grocery shopping always involves case lots of things and family packs and wholesale.....

My kids are away for their annual summer vacation back in Saskatchewan where they visit with my family, their dad's family and spend time at my mom's cabin. I have always enjoyed my summers with the kids gone.....but last night, I realized..... it was the first time I slept in my house completely alone in probably four years or more. Even when my kids were gone, I always had Tuc and his dad was always here as well. I was lonely last night. I talked to my oldest son on MSN last night, and he told me he didn't miss me.......that broke my heart. He said he had only been gone a week and hasn't had time to miss me yet........sigh.......

Home again, home again...........

Well, I made it home.

There were no plane delays. No cancelled flights........I had to come home. And leave NewMan behind again.

It was 1000 times harder this time to come home and not bring him with me. All I want is to have him here and have my family complete.

The next trip I take down there, will be to bring him home.

Stay tuned...........

Blogging on the Road..........

My flights out here were alright........completely uneventful. Only once I landed at O'Hare did I hear that travellers had been grounded for days due to bad weather. I can only hope and pray that I, too, get delayed on Sunday and am able to spend an extra day here with my love.

I checked into my hotel, only to find out that the pool is closed.....I booked through Travelocity, and I am wondering where that effing little Gnome was....isn't he supposed to let people know when those things happen???? I called to talk to him, but I got some bitchy guy with a very hard to understand accent instead. He really didn't give a crap that the pool was closed in my hotel and that I wasn't going to be able to swim during the day while my man is at work. Not to mention that there will be no hanky panky in the hot tub....jerk. After me complaining to him and not letting him hang up, he agreed to give me a $25 credit on a future trip.... whoopdy freakin' do.

Wednesday evening we just picked up dinner at this awesome little Asian place that we have eaten at before, and where NewMan eats lunch often during the week. They make some of the best Hot & Sour soup....mmmmmmmmm. Last night, we went out to this Mexican place....it is always so good....SPICY!! And tonight, we are doing dinner and a movie. This kind of dating is always so funny, since we tend to go a couple months without seeing each other, then try to cram in all our dates in just a couple days. It is fun though!

I fly home on Sunday again....it all seems so short. I cannot wait for the day when he is finally home with me for good. There will be a big celebration for me that day......as it will be a day I have waited for for a very long time.

I just want to thank NewMan for leaving me his laptop in the hotel room, mostly so I can talk to him while he is at work all day, but also so I could keep up with my blogging and Facebook stuff. Thanks my baby! You are the best......

I finally have a scientific excuse for being a slug......

Iris' biorhythms updated daily:

Physical: You're far from your physical peak. Don't overdo it. (-63 % and falling.)
Emotional: VERY LOW INDEED. Look after yourself. (-97 % but rising.)
Intellectual: An OK day for brain power. (37 % and rising.)

If you want your own Biorhythm evaluation, click on my Facebook link and sign up. And then you too, can get sucked into the abyss that is Facebook.

Advertising Geniuses

We have all heard an advertising jingle that just sticks in your head for days and days. That is the whole point. Who can resist that package of luncheon meat when the vision of cute little kids singing, "My bologna has a first name......" comes into your head.

And there is the onslaught of toy ads, that when I was a child only came on at Christmas time, but now clutter the Cartoon Network on a daily basis, making the children watching think there is no possible way they can live another day with out the Super Bratz Powder Puff Pink Ranger with Real Lazer Vision. Of course, perhaps my children just watch too much TV, like Anonymouse said of The Joy Children about this post

I have given you all evidence how witty and charming my son, The Tucster, can be. He is a 3 1/2 year old, after all. He is the worst offender in this house about the singing over and over and over and over of the mindless songs, playing the movies on a never ending loop, and repeating the commercials. He will walk into the room and recite along with the TV, "Maybe its Mabaween"

So you can only understand why I wasn't really surprised to hear him singing,

"Bom chicka wah wah"..... a great big thank you to the advertising geniuses at Axe.

What is that sound??

As I am sitting here in my room, drinking my coffee....there are so many sounds around me. My house is filled with a symphony. The TV in my room is spewing Hot Topics from the View (can I just interject here to say how much I dislike Elisabeth, prefer Rosie, loving Sherri Sheppard & Kathy Griffen co-hosting and if it wasn't for Joy Behar, I would be letting Tuc watch Pinky Dinky Doo in here). I can hear my oldest son's stereo is on in the bedroom right below mine, the bass thumping like a migraine. The dishwasher is humming away, the sloshing of the water like waves on the shore. The TV in the living room broadcasting an unending litany of mind numbing repetitive songs from children's shows (Wonder Pets anyone?). The dog is in his cage scratching at some imagined fleas, making the whole thing shake, rattle and roll. The overloaded washing machine is twisting the day away, then giving way to the spin cycle, sounding like the machine is mamboing its way down the hall to greet me. The dryer whirring away, the rhythmic thump of some wayward shoe, and the scratching sound of zippers from jeans adding to the overall melody. I can hear Tuc tossing his toys around in the living room, disjointed noises, like an improv jazz band.

And then I hear.......

What's that sound?????

"Tuc, what are you doing?"
"Pwaying my inswurment"
"Which instrument is that, Tuc?"

sound of him walking down the hall with something heavy

"This one"


"I gotta have more Hamster Cage!"
"I gotta fever, and the only prescription is MORE HAMSTER CAGE!!!"

SNL Cowbell with Christopher Walken

Tuckerisms

Yesterday just out of the blue:
"Mommy, I have hair on my arms, can I drink beer now?"

Upon getting his dinner plate at Easter when it was just him and I:
"Where's the wine?"

When Angus snatched the peanut butter toast from his hand:
"Damn you, Angus"

For those of you who do not work nights...

1. When you go to bed at 10pm, do you say, "I am going for a nap"?... when I sleep during the day, it is not a "nap", it is the obligatory SLEEP my body needs in order for me to stay alive.

2. The next time you call me at 2pm and expect me to talk and be coherent, I am going to call you at 2am and expect the same thing.

3. When you wake up at 5am, do you immediately start cooking dinner??? Neither do I when I wake up at 5pm.

4. I will never get the quantity or quality of sleep during the day that you do at night, therefore, do not ask me how I slept, it will never be a positive answer.

5. Never ever ever come to work in the morning and say to me "I am so tired". I may just eat you alive.

6. Do not ever ask me if I want coffee....it isn't a matter of want, it is a matter of need.

7. When I eat a plate of turkey and dressing at 3am, do not ask me, "how can you eat that in the middle of the night?".....the answer is "the same way you eat it at 5pm".

8. I do not need you to tell me I look tired at 7am when I have been working all night, I already know I look tired.

9. Do not tell me that I should rest more. I realize that. I realize it more than you ever can.

a long night's journey into day.....

As I do my rounds each hour, checking on my patients, the light breaking through the darkness brings hope for the shift to soon be over and to be home sleeping in my bed.

It seems that people have an affinity to leave or enter this world at the time that the light is fading or approaching. I am not saying all, but there seems to be that trend. So as morning approaches, during that quiet serene time, you will check on that tenuous patient much more closely, to be sure that God has not reached down and taken them home.

Or on the other end of that spectrum, in the hustle of the delivery room, as the light breaks forth with all its strength, then too the new life will be breaking through to draw its first breath and cry its loud cry. It is truly a magical time of day.

During this time of year the sun stays up until almost 11:pm, by 4:30 am, the sun is already peeking its nose in between the curtains.

In the dead of winter though, I see no light. I come to work in the dark and go home in the dark.....with no light in between. I go to bed as the sun is starting to peek out, and by the time I rise for work again, the darkness has already fallen. Is is any wonder so many in my profession suffer from various forms of depression. To rarely see the light of the sun is such an awful thing.

And now, as my shift is approaching its end, I must go and start my morning work, so that I may go home and sleep.....and put behind me yet another long night's journey into day.......

I have been nominated....

For a tenuous/obscure brush with fame by Moobs. A call was put forth for your most tenuous/obscure brush with fame, and to enter, you just commented and told them what it was. Here is my story.

In 2000/2001 I worked on a very busy surgery unit in Saskatoon, SK. The one day I came to work I had a patient who was a member of the group STOMP. The had put on a show the previous night. This poor patient had actually suffered a ruptured appendix and was left behind along with one other group member to have surgery and recover and catch up with the rest of the tour.

I have never known or really met anyone who was remotely famous....except for some of the exceptional bloggers that I read. I have had many "second hand" associations with people of varying fame. Maybe some day........

I really love my blog...........

.....and I love all the people who come to visit. I have just not been my usual snarky, witty self. I don't really know why....

I know that when I come here to check out my Blogroll and nothing shows as being updated, I get frustrated. It has a lot to do with my attention deficit, I am sure. I need sparkly things to attract my attention.

Time to find my groove again........I need some inspiration.........

Facebook has Kidnapped me!!!!!

And I think the only ransom big enough to get me back is many many many comments on my posts.

I have gotten so enthralled with Facebook, finding old friends, new friends, family members.....that I have completely ignored my blog friends.....and then....a blogger friend invited me to be a blogger friend, then another one did, then another, then I was invited to a Bloggers Group on facebook then another friend.....and before you know it.......you are completely immersed.

I am totally loving the Facebook society....it is amazing. But I feel like I am ignoring my blogger friends....time to try to come back here.....

So, if any of you readers or fellow bloggers want to add me on Facebook...I will welcome your feeding my addiction.

So I was minding my own business, chatting with NewMan when

THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then......all was very very quiet. Reboot laptop calmly... disk read error. Try again....disk read error. Try again....disk read error. fuck. Fuck! FUCK!!!!! My beloved laptop was gone. Even with my training in life saving techniques, nothing would bring her back to me. I put her on life support....she was in a vegetative state. I called Dr. NewMan. His prognosis was dismal. Looks like she wouldn't make it without a transplant. I had to find a donor.... I started out looking in the most ethical of places. I found one, rushed to harvest it. It didn't appear to be a match. I was crushed. I came home, deflated. My poor baby. I love her so much, I couldn't imagine saying good bye. So Dr. NewMan and I decided to search the black market. There were a few....I found one that seemed a match. Placed my order and hoped she would survive the time it would take to get it here.

This morning we held a conference call. Dr. NewMan, Nurse Denise and myself. Nurse Denise was certain that I didn't need to search so far. She was sure the first one was an actual match. She gave us hope. I rushed back to try to harvest that original one. I got there, with the tricks Nurse Denise showed me, I found a match. Bigger and better than the one that had failed. I lovingly cradled it and brought it home.

Dr. NewMan and I embarked on the surgery, it was a difficult one, there was a lot of blood, sweat and tears. A lot of tugging, pushing, grinding of teeth. Then, it fit. We held our breath as we took off the life support and watched for signs of life. A MIRACLE!!!!! She lived!! She made it!! My beautiful wonderful friend! I have never been so happy!

She isn't fully recovered yet. Her memory is shot, she doesn't remember all the places she has visited, but we are getting there. I have to take her on many outings to remind her of those. She still can't do everything she used to do, and she has picked up some strange applications in the recovery period, but we are working on those and weeding out the bad stuff.

I am here, writing to you from my old friend.....my laptop..... life is good.

I was tagged for a meme.......

I don't normally do these things. When I get those emails that ask a bajillion questions about you and you are supposed to pass it on to everyone in your address book after answering the questions.....I usually read the answers then delete the email.....never answering the questions myself or forwarding it on. I would have to guess that is why I do not get tagged for these things. I want to thank "At Your Cervix" for tagging me and inviting me to join.

This particular meme was asking me to post eight habits/facts etc about me.... then to tag eight people to do the same. Well, since I posted 100 Things About Me recently, I figure you can go there. I will not actually tag anyone either....since I flaked out on this one.

I have my old template back!! YAY!!!!

Sara over at Bling My Blog took my old graphics and made them work with new blogger!!! I love this girl!!! Thank you Sara!! Go check out her site and leave her a note.

The Sound of Silence.................

...........is broken.

On Friday, my three older children went off with their father for weekend visitation. Now, I love my children, but I love me some peace and quiet too! A weekend of just Tuc and me and the TV. No bickering, no whining, no fighting.... heaven. Tuc was going to spend the day with his other step-siblings on Saturday as well....I was in for some good old "alone time".

When I went to drop Tuc off, the mommy of the step-siblings said to leave him over night. So I got the hell out of there as fast as I could before she changed her mind said "Thank you, that would be really nice for him" and came home to a quiet house, save for the dog whining in his kennel.

I spent the evening chatting online with NewMan and then watched an SNL special, (actually, I watched part of it while chatting then shut it off so I could give NewMan my undivided attention. I finished watching it after he went to bed. I had trouble sleeping, so I watched Hotel Rwanda on the movie channel....because it was.....{insert sarcastic tone here} such a heartwarming movie that would lull me to sleep. I finally fell asleep about 2:am. I slept until almost 10am this morning.... so not usual for me, but so very much what I usually love to do.

I spent the whole day in my bedroom, watching the Food Network and chatting with NewMan.....I so cannot wait until he is living here and we can spend our Sundays doing much more active things. He says he will get me up early in the mornings...I guess we will see...

But then, Tuc came home this afternoon. He was crabby and whiny. He had hurt his hand and he does NOT like band aids........so every time he bumped it, he cried. I put him in the tub and he cried. Even washing his hair with mango shampoo did not help. He stood in his room naked, crying because he wanted to get his clothes back on. I finally went and got him into his pajamas. I made dinner, but he was mad because I cut up his fettuccine Alfredo. Then he cried because he didn't want white sauce. UGH!!!!!!! But now, he is eating, and much happier. I think it will be to bed early tonight for him. After a little Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream.

My son, the metrosexual.....

Does anyone still use that term?? Can you really apply it to a three year old? These are the questions today.

My Tuc. He is a sweetheart. He loves him some nail polish....and hair gel......and "wip bomb"....and "wotion". He is always asking his momma to lotion his back and feet and hands. Today, we even used the cuticle oil. He adores bubble baths, and always comes to me afterwards and says, "smell my hair, it smells like strawberries". He likes to "powder his butt".

He is always searching for the pants, with pockets....this child refuses to wear sweatpants. He likes his clothes to match (except for his socks, they must be mismatched, but that is another story).

He loves going to the hairdresser to get his hair cut, and when I am blow drying my own, always asks "blow me too, mom" (not even touching that one). All I can say is, he is well groomed for a three year old boy.

I have really no idea how he got this way, except for that he spends a lot of time with his momma and sister. God knows his brothers are NOT groomers...even the 15yr old can lack in that department, and you all know the problems that face the pre-teen boy and their aversion to soap and water.

I guess we'll see what happens once the boy hits those pre-teen years.....of course, he will have a new role model, NewMan.....who is a "groomer" too.