What is that sound??

As I am sitting here in my room, drinking my coffee....there are so many sounds around me. My house is filled with a symphony. The TV in my room is spewing Hot Topics from the View (can I just interject here to say how much I dislike Elisabeth, prefer Rosie, loving Sherri Sheppard & Kathy Griffen co-hosting and if it wasn't for Joy Behar, I would be letting Tuc watch Pinky Dinky Doo in here). I can hear my oldest son's stereo is on in the bedroom right below mine, the bass thumping like a migraine. The dishwasher is humming away, the sloshing of the water like waves on the shore. The TV in the living room broadcasting an unending litany of mind numbing repetitive songs from children's shows (Wonder Pets anyone?). The dog is in his cage scratching at some imagined fleas, making the whole thing shake, rattle and roll. The overloaded washing machine is twisting the day away, then giving way to the spin cycle, sounding like the machine is mamboing its way down the hall to greet me. The dryer whirring away, the rhythmic thump of some wayward shoe, and the scratching sound of zippers from jeans adding to the overall melody. I can hear Tuc tossing his toys around in the living room, disjointed noises, like an improv jazz band.

And then I hear.......

What's that sound?????

"Tuc, what are you doing?"
"Pwaying my inswurment"
"Which instrument is that, Tuc?"

sound of him walking down the hall with something heavy

"This one"


"I gotta have more Hamster Cage!"
"I gotta fever, and the only prescription is MORE HAMSTER CAGE!!!"

SNL Cowbell with Christopher Walken

Open Forum

I have been scraping the lint encrusted crevices of my brain to come up with something interesting for me to write about. As seems to happen so very often, I am stumped.

Again, I am sitting here at work, trying desperately to keep my eyes open. Why is it topics that seem wildly entertaining and witty at 4:22AM appear to be just mindless drivel in the light of day?? I have started several topics over the last couple of nights only to have them look so ridiculous when I get home that I trash them completely. So, my loyal readers, (all two of you....one of which I am sleeping with *wink*), I implore you to give me fodder to write on.

I am opening up the phone lines and I am taking calls. Whatever is on your mind, just come on out and ask me. Have a question for me about my job, my life, my kids?? Go ahead and ask. Have a topic that you would like me to give my editorial commentary on?? Post it in the comments. I will do my best to write on any subject, answer any question, give my opinion or advice on any pressing concern you may have. However, I do reserve the right to censor any freaks, weirdos, perverts (yes, NewMan, that means you too), and other undesirables out of my comments. I will endeavour to do my utmost to be as honest, sincere and entertaining as possible.

I have had to reinstate the commenting rules again, however. You have to have a blogger account and the word verification thingy has been turned back on, because of some spammers hate comments that were plugged into my comment box.

OH, and I almost forgot....if you do post me a question, you have to be prepared to answer one back for me, on YOUR blog......and if you don't have a blog......in my comments. That isn't too much to ask in return, is it?

Let the games begin........

Curling up with a good book.........

Someone gave my ex-husband a book. It was called Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. It is a collection of short stories, designed to be read while performing the days constitutional. What is the attraction of that, exactly? I cannot imagine needing to spend any longer than absolutely necessary in the bathroom, reading no less. My brother-in-law can actually spend an hour or maybe more (I have never really timed him) sitting there reading the newspaper. All I can think is, if it takes that long to "get the job done", perhaps you need to invest in some Bowel Buddies, (boy that link gets a lot of air time here in my blog).

This post was inspired by my friend, Jacques, at My New Life. He had an epiphany this morning. And I have one suggestion for him, WATERLESS HAND SANITIZER GEL. I am thinking I could turn him OCD with all of my stories.

Is this just a man thing?? Is it because they have all the time in the world to sit there reading?? Without the various children and pets knocking on the door or sticking fingers or furry paws under the door?? "Whatcha doin' in there, mom?????" Trying to peek under the door to see what you are doing........or in my old house, with its easily-opened-from-the-outside locks, having them just barge on in????? You do tend to just "get 'er done" and get the heck out.

I do remember a friend of mine, many many years ago, taking her Anatomy notes into the bathtub with her to get some uninterrupted study time. Problem, with all that uninterrupted time in the bathroom, she fell asleep and dropped her notes into the tub. And speaking of bathrooms and tubs and such, I am reminded of a Friends episode where Joey used Chandler's toothbrush. Chandler says that they can't share things like that. Joey argues back that they share the soap in the shower. Chandler justifies it by saying that soap by its very nature is clean. Joey comes back saying, "Think of the last place I wash and the first place you wash."....argument over.

I wonder how many of you will be throwing away the bar soap and investing in shower gel from now on?????

Lamb or Lion????

It is March 1st today, if you didn't already know.

Around here, I can't really decide if it came in like a Lamb or a Lion. It isn't so cold or blizzardy to consider it Lion like, but it isn't warm and melting and mild enough for it to be Lamb Like. I am thinking that this is a premonition that March is going to be a hum drum nondescript Month. What is your March 1st like?

I am watching a news report that is saying, "Sleep is the new Sex". Apparently a recent survey showed that an alarmingly high percentage of people would rather have a good nights sleep than have sex. I am really wondering who they asked?? I mean, I understand the mommy with a baby who, when finally getting said baby to sleep and knowing that there may only be a couple hours before baby is awake again, not wanting to used up those precious minutes doing the very activity that got them into that predicament in the first place. In my rather limited experience, I can't imagine that any man would have answered that they prefer sleep to sex...that has never been the case in my house......ever.....of course, maybe that is more of a reflection of ME... "grrrrrrr baby". And also in my experience (I know, this is way TMI), I have found that one leads to the other. Good Sex = Good Sleep. Try it....try it tonight.... (thinking I may have just gained a lot of male fans). So tell me, Sleep or Sex???

It is coming up on Easter Season again. NewMan observes the Friday Fast. I used to when I was at home with my parents...in fact, we observed it all year long. When I was a single mom, that kind of went by the wayside, since my thoughts were that we ate a lot of meatless meals all the time. I am not much of a fish person, but I suppose I will have to come up with some interesting ways to make meatless meals for Friday's during Lent for NewMan. Good thing my kids like fish. Do you fast on Fridays? Only during Lent? All year?? Any idea what I am talking about?

Another thing about Easter is the Cadbury Cream Egg. Sweet, gooey, disgusting and absolutely irresistible to me. It is what I had for breakfast this morning.........Atkins says eggs for breakfast are good...........

Sunday Morning Laziness

I am not getting out of my bed today. NewMan gave me a laptop computer complete with wireless connectivity. So I am typing to you from my bed. Perfect place for a Sunday morning post. I have my TV, my computer, my daughter made me a pot of coffee. I love it.

When I was a kid, Sunday mornings were often spent with my dad. We would have gone to church on Saturday evening and Sunday morning we would make breakfast. He would have a beer while he cooked bacon and eggs. We would then sit at the table, just the two of us, eating breakfast and talking. I drank coffee, even when I was very young, a French Canadian thing I suppose. We would talk. Sometimes we would listen to the radio. Sunday mornings the radio guy would read the Saturday Funnies over the radio. Then after breakfast we would go to the living room and maybe watch TV or just sit and read. I miss the quiet laziness of those mornings. Now my Sundays are filled with noise, kids, pets.......I have to say, I love that too......

Does This Train of Thought Have a Caboose???

I am highly doubting it.

I worked two night shifts this week. I woke up at 5:45 Monday morning and did not go back to bed until after 9:am Tuesday morning, where I fell promptly asleep until around 1:30pm when my kids started fighting in the hallway outside my room. It was early out from school that day. I never did get back to sleep, got ready and went to work, but not before letting my overtired bitchy self tick off NewMan and cause some completely unnecessary stress to both of us. *** I came home this morning and ended up spending the morning trying to do some damage control, which never did happen, and make NewMan understand my point of view. Before I knew it, it was time to take my oldest son to the city nearest us for his dental appointment. I had not slept a wink. Thank god he is driving.

We had lunch, got myself some high octane Timmy's Coffee and got the boy to the dentist and me to the nail salon. After our respective appointments were over, we headed to Walmart to pick up the few things I was needing. Then to the Pizza Place to pick up dinner before coming home. The guy at the pizza place was a total knob. I had sent the boy in to get the pizza and had given him my bank card. Said bank card was not working so JACKASS PIZZA PUD puts a strip of scotch tape over the magnetic strip!!!!!!!! I have not seen anyone lame enough to have pulled that stupid stunt in several years, and of course, SonOne did not know to tell this DickWad not to do it. Of course, it doesn't actually help the card work. So, we have to hit the bank, and I am praying that the card still works in the bank machine so I can get enough money to buy the pizza for dinner. It does, we are back in business. We get home, people are fed, watered, bathed, bedded and now I can actually have some time to blog. Of course, I gave up some blogging time this evening to spend time with NewMan online. Now it is 11:36pm, I have had about 4 hours of sleep in the last 66 hours, I have not written any lame Poetry but instead have decided to have a derailed train of thought.

Edited to add ***

I knew my train derailed, I never finished this post and now I have caused some confusion and dismay with the Real People in my life. Crap......

Damage control: not NewMan that was causing damage, not him I was trying to control. It was my own damage, and it is still not resolved. NewMan, on the other hand, completely 100% wonderful, helped me WITH the damage control best he could, was supportive and loving, even though I was being bitchy, tired and stupid. God, I love this man!!!!! Oh and just in case you all are wondering, I give up blogging time to spend time with NewMan quite voluntarily. I mean, I love my blog, but is it going to change my poopy Depends when I am old and senile??? I think not!!!!

BestFriend, I love you to death!!! You are like a mother lion when it comes to me, how many people can say that about their friends??? But please, don't eat my MATE!!! *LOL*